The fourth Core Need we deal with as we go through the Cornerstones and Core Needs of Growing Kids is Discipline. During the close of that session I ask the question “Which is the most important of the Core Needs. The options are Affections, Boundaries, Consistency and Discipline.

At the risk of engaging in gender stereotypes almost every time a woman will say Affection. When I tell them this is wrong a man will say Discipline. that is also wrong. I tell them the most important Core Need is Consistency.

Affection affects all the other core needs and makes each of them feel stronger in a child’s life. Affection is stronger when it is consistent. Boundaries are more effective when they are consistent and Discipline is more effective when it is consistent.

Use affection liberally to reinforce who your child is and who they are becoming. Use the walls of known boundaries every moment of every day to keep them within safe places and engaging in safe behavior. Use discipline whenever they step outside of the known boundary to reinforce the boundary and teach them how to become a responsible adult.

If raising responsible adults is the goal – consistency is the key!

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