How many of us would like to change something about our lives?
The family I was born into?
Which side of “the tracks” I called home when I was young?
Where my parents came from?
The language I spoke as a child?
The color of my hair?
The color of my skin?
The money I inherited (or didn’t inherit) from my parents?
All of these and hundreds more are circumstances. They each have an affect on my life – but none of them determine who I am or who I will turn out to be.
The Third Cornerstone of Life Is Full Of Choices says:
Life is full of choices,
and even though I have not chosen all the circumstances of my life,
I alone determine its qualities,
life is full of choices,
and the choices I make today
will determine the qualities of my life – both now – and in the future.
If you remember from our discussion of the First and Second Cornerstone, circumstances are anything that can be given to me or taken from me while qualities need to be chosen by me.
None of us can choose where we are born, who my parents are or the color of my hair. (Although Clairol has made a fortune convincing us that blonds have more fun… I can change the appearance of my hair color but that doesn’t change my natural hair color.)
In life, I spend so much time and energy trying to change the circumstances of my life – because I think if I change that one thing, or that group of things that define me, then I will be happy.
In reality I am not defined by the circumstances of my life – but by my qualities – the things I choose.
I can be honest, trustworthy, peaceful, loving, kind. These are qualities. They were chosen by me. I can choose to give them up but they cannot be taken from me. They define who I am.
If I am known as a liar I can choose to change and start telling the truth. My reputation as a liar will continue to be with me until I prove to others that I am now an honest person.
So you may be asking the question. Why are some of us born with (what seems to be) advantages over others?
You may remember from a previous blog where I talked about the total waste of time it is to ask “why questions”.
A “why question” is a smoke screen that obscures the real issue.
“Why” doesn’t get us closer to the truth. It just gets in the way.
Asking “why” is the tool humanity uses to put ourselves in Gods place, to question Him and take His power and authority.
The reality is each of us are born with different circumstances. Instead of “why” the real question for us to ask is, what am I going to do with my life in spite of or because of my circumstances?
I am responsible for the qualities I establish within my life through the choices I make.
My choices determine the qualities of my life – both now- and in the future.
My qualities are my own. My life is my own.
Well written, John and Sheryl. It was nice to talk with you recently. Hope you are doing well!
It’s hard to find knowledgeable people on this topic, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks